What is cyber bullying?

A popular definition denotes cyber bullying as the use of “… the Internet, cell phones or other devices … [in a manner] intended to hurt or embarrass another person.” The concept encompasses a myriad of malfeasance.

Cyber bullying might consist of merely emailing or texting someone with full knowledge such contact is unwanted and unwelcome. Threats of violence, pejorative racial or ethnic slurs, vulgar sexual innuendo, or group ridicule are more severe forms of cyber bullying.

A 2004 study (conducted by I-Safe) which surveyed 1,500 elementary and middle-school pupils showed the following startling statistics:

42% had been bullied online;

35% had been threatened online;

21% had received malicious, threatening, or harassing e-mails or electronic messages;

58% had been the subject of malicious or hurtful public online commentary;

58% did not reveal such cyber bullying instances to parents or another responsible adult.

Studies conducted in other countries have shown similar statistics. Chances are, your child will fall prey to some form of cyber bullying during youth.

An Ounce of Prevention

Parents can take the following proactive steps to prevent cyber bullying:

- Reassure your child that you will not revoke computer or cell phone privileges if cyber bullying should occur;

- Teach your child to ignore and to not respond to derogatory instant messages, emails, or postings by cyber bullies. This will serve as a significant damper on cyber bullies’ malicious designs;

- Set instant messaging and email preferences on your child’s accounts to permit contacts only from known senders. This will protect your child from cyber bullying while online;

- Change your child’s social network profiles or preferences to “private.” Allow contact only from known parties. If harassment persists, contact site administration. They can intervene or terminate the bully’s account, as such actions violate membership Terms and Conditions.

- Teach your child to never reveal passwords, user IDs, or other such access data to anyone.

If All Else Fails

If your child is victimized by a cyber bully, print hard copies of any messages or posts that contain threats or humiliation. Save similar cell phone text messages. Show them to the school principal. Arrange a meeting with the perpetrator’s parents to reach a positive resolution.

Encourage your child to stand up to cyber bully attacks. They should not hesitate to inform a teacher or other adult in authority about the problem.
If any accounts have been hacked or compromised, immediately change passwords, user IDs, or other access data. Advise site administrators about the cyber bullying. Should the problem persist, contact legal authorities.

Threatening another person is a serious criminal offense.

About the Author

Crissie C. Luckey, JD is a freelance writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers helps people determine if an online education is right for them and helps them understand which online courses they can choose from to reach their goals. The site even helps students decide if military online colleges are what they are looking for.

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Many online social networking tools now allow for users to post or send information anonymously. This has opened the door for a new classification of human behavior: the passive-aggressive bully also referred to as the cyber bully.

It’s so much easier to say what’s really on your mind, and even exaggerate it, when you are anonymous. This concept isn’t new. Shakespeare himself wrote many plays in which one or more of the characters were in disguise. Rosalind from As You Like It, is one great example. In disguise, she could more easily express her emotions and opinions without fear of punishment or ridicule. But unlike Rosalind, who benefited from being able to speak her mind anonymously, people in our day have taken unpleasant advantage of this tool. More and more often Internet users, teenagers particularly, have to deal with cyberbullying.

Luckily, lawmakers are becoming more and more aware of the implications that cyberbullying can have on Internet users. The National Conference of State Legislatures has compiled a list of state laws that handle cyberbullying issues. All 50 states are included on the list. And in most cases, states allow school districts themselves to enforce policies against cyberbullying among their students.

As a parent, what can you do to help your child avoid or deal with cyberbulling?

First and foremost, build a strong relationship with your children. A healthy home environment offers a place of refuge and protection for your child. So no matter what kind of problem they face, they look to their home and family as a way to escape. In a safe environment such as this, parents will become more aware of problems in their children’s lives and be able to help them counter the damage done by bullying.

Second, show your kids the proper way to treat others even when using the Internet. Monkey see, monkey do. If you want your children to show respect and be kind to others on the Internet, then you too must do the same.



These days, both parents and children have social networking accounts. Which means your children can see what you’re up to just as much as you can see them. One obvious way to be respectful on the Internet is to use proper wording and grammar when talking to others. Being overly casual can often lead to informal criticisms later. It is much harder to be cruel to someone when you are speaking and writing formerly. Teach your children these good habits and do them yourself.

Third, be smart about what information you and your children post online. Don’t publicly post any personal information, such as phone number, address, email, etc. This information can leave you open to contact by people whom you may wish to avoid. Also, be cautious when posting pictures or videos. These may later be fuel for bullying or other inappropriate behavior.

It is impossible to avoid every bad influence in the world, but there are most definitely measures that can be taken to minimize the damage they cause. Be wise about using the Internet and all of the tools it offers, especially when it comes to social networking. Always treat others with respect, and show your children how to do so. And finally, but most importantly, have a strong relationship with your children. This is the surest means of keeping the influence of bullying from damaging their self-esteem and possibly leading to drastic behavior.

About the Author
Natalie Clive is a writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers helps people determine if an online education is right for them and helps them search for online degrees that can help them reach their goals.

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With the internet at everyone’s disposal and being used by children all across the world everyday, what used to be a problem that took place in public is now often taking place privately and even anonymously. Cyber-bullying is becoming one of the top challenges faced by children today and because of its more private nature is often not as easy to detect as bullying may have been in the past.

But, even though it may be more private in its execution, cyber-bullying can be more devastating to your child than traditional bullying, leaving them feeling exposed to the entire world and completely without control of their own persona and reputation.

With that in mind here are steps parents can take to detect cyber-bullying before the problem escalates.

1. Set aside a weekly time to have a 15-30 minute parent-child talk. Communication is important all the time, but make this a special time where the focus is on what is happening in the child’s life, good and bad.

2. Leave judgment out of the discussion. If your child is engaged in a dangerous activity you of course need to put a stop to it, but when you are having a discussion session avoid any instincts to make judgmental comments. There is time to address issues after you have engaged in open free conversation.

3. Watch how your child responds to any criticisms they may receive from teachers, coaches, friends or siblings. Victims of bullying often become hyper sensitive to criticism and may respond in a dramatic way to even the slightest criticisms.

4. Keep an open channel of dialogue with teachers. Though the act of cyberbullying takes place on line it almost always is perpetrated by someone your child knows in real life, most likely at school. Make sure the teacher knows to contact you the instant they see any form of bullying taking place.

5. Notice changes in your child’s daily habits. The stress of cyberbullying will almost always become visible as changes in your child’s routine. Things like eating less, a change in sleep habits, less attention to grooming or frequent illnesses are signs that should prompt a conversation.

6. Know your child’s internet habits. There are some times when parents can be overly nosy into their children’s private matters. Even kids need to have a sense that they have a right to privacy. However, just like you wouldn’t let a toddler cross the street without holding their hand, children should not be expected to be able to navigate the internet unaided. Know what your child is viewing and doing.

7. Be mindful of any changes in the way your child uses the internet. Cyber-bullying can lead to your child either spending more time online, trying to confront the bully or counter criticisms and insults, or they may become reluctant to use the computer at all, feeling that it is a source of pain. Any sudden change in the way the use the internet warrants further discussion.

8. Teenagers and pre-teens are moody. Its just a fact of life. If your child begins to show a sudden change in demeanor, however, there is probably a reason. Notice if your child’s normal mood swings become more dramatic. Persistent depressed moods, reclusiveness and any sign of interest in self harm are signs of cyber-bullying that need to be addressed immediately.

9. Grades are a very often a good barometer of how your child is feeling emotionally. Not every child is going to make the honor role, but if you see your child’s grades slipping don’t immediately assume they are just being lazy. A decline in grades and the quality of schoolwork is often a sign of cyber-bullying or other important issues.

10. If the group of friends your child associates with suddenly change or stop coming around it may be due to cyber-bullying. Kids are prone to peer pressure and a bully can often persuade you child’s friends to join in the bullying. If your child loses interest in friendships or ends a relationship with a longtime friend try to find out what caused the change.

If you find your child is the victim of cyber-bullying put a stop to it immediately. Contact the bullies parents, the school, the authorities, whoever you need to in order to make sure that the bullying stops.

Childhood is hard enough these days without being belittled and insulted by a bully, cyber or otherwise. Left to the children, cyber-bullying can lead to serious consequences for the bully and bullied alike. Both victim and victimizesr may come to see violence as the next step once the bullying begins to escalate.

Remember, though children need privacy, they also need protection. It can be like walking a tight rope trying to find the middle ground between the two, but it is also one of the most important parts of being a parent.

Thanks for all the support and please Learn IT, Teach IT, Share IT�

Your Online Security Authority

Bill Wardell

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Although the Internet is home to information and technology, it is also home to the worst kinds of human beings possible. The anonymity that the Internet offers can serve as a screen to many shady characters, from would-be criminals to playground bullies that still want a piece of their victims. Cyber bullying is just a modern method of embarrassing those who cannot retaliate, humiliate those who cannot speak up for themselves, threaten those who are too young to respond, and even intimidate those who do not want to answer with force. Cyber bullying, like your run-of-the-mill playground bullying, is a means of control.

It is therefore in the best interests of parents to keep their children from being bullied online � but how would you know if your child is not telling you the entire story? Here are a few signs that you might want to watch out for if you are worried that your child is being bullied on the Internet.

1. Does your child spend long hours on the computer?

Cyber bullying is not only about someone being threatened, it is about the lesser power trying to speak up � but at the same time, it is the lesser power being unable to tear itself away from the greater power that is intimidating it. Cyber bullying may result in your child staying for a much longer time online, where he or she tries to answer or speak up, but is unable to.

2. Does your child close his or her browser or mail windows immediately when you enter the room?

This can be a sign that your child is hiding something. It can be anything from pornography to coming abuse, so whether or not it is cyber bullying, this is a sign that you may want to watch out for. Children will not keep secrets unless they are extremely sensitive, so if you notice this kind of behavior in your child, you may want to coax him or her to talk.

3. Is your child evasive when you ask about his or her Internet activity?

If you ask your child about his or her surfing, is he or she evasive, mousy, shy, even defensive? Then something might be happening behind the scenes, and you should be more vigilant.

4. Is your child�s history folder always cleaned out and clear of files?

If your child is into cleaning out a history folder all too frequently, then you may have reason to be suspicious. History folder cleaning is of course a good way to keep your computer up and running well, but if it happens too frequently, then your child may be hiding something. Again, it might not necessarily be cyber bullying, but you may need to be all the more vigilant.

5. Is your child less attentive in school, or is he or she getting behind with requirements at school?

Cyber bullying, like ordinary playground bullying, can affect your child�s schoolwork. If you are suspicious, ask your child�s teacher to observe your child at school. This can be especially suspicious if your child has always been attentive at school or active in school.

6. Are your child�s grades falling?

Although such a phenomenon can mean anything, falling grades may be a sign that something is happening behind your back. Be all the more suspicious if your child is getting good tutoring and is still lagging behind; or if your child is suddenly unwilling to learn when he or she was like a sponge just weeks before.

7. How are your child�s eating habits?

A sudden change in your child�s dietary habits may signal some emotional trauma. If your child is not being bullied at school, then something might be happening online that you might want to turn your attention to. If your child is losing his or her appetite, which is relatively more common in children who are suffering from bullying, then you can certainly let the warning signals start ticking off.

8. Does your child complain frequently about stomachaches?

Any emotional disturbance can translate into physical disturbances, so watch out for this kind of complaint.

9. Is your child openly fearful, especially when friends are brought up?

Cyber bullying can traumatize your child, and any kind of friendship may be difficult to sustain. Watch out if your child seems paranoid.

10. Is your child emotionally distant?

When your child loses his or her drive to make friends and socialize, he or she may have an extreme fear of humiliation or rejection. This may or may not be brought about by cyber bullying, but you may need to be more affirmative and supportive of your child at this point.

These are only a few tips and signs that you need to watch out for. For more information, talk to your child�s teacher or the school guidance counselor.

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� Don�t open or read messages from cyber bullies. Your child can�t be bullied online if they don�t open or read messages from cyber bullies. Teach your child to curb his or her curiosity to read and respond to a message once he or she recognize a cyber bully has sent it.

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� Encourage your child to tell an adult, if for some, their reaction to being bullied is not only fright, but also embarrassment and confusion of

what the right thing is to do. Coach your child to tell a trusted adult if they are ever being bullied.

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� Report chat bullying to your ISP. Internet Service Providers (ISPs) can often block a cyber bully. Save the bully�s message and the screen

name, then contact and report it to your ISP and request they be blocked.

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� If the cyberbullying is related to school, inform an administrator

Schools have specific procedures and rules to handle bullying of all types�including cyber bullying. Use your child�s school as a resource to resolve conflicts between students before they cause greater harm.

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� No chatting while angry. Sending angry, hostile or taunting messages attracts cyber bullies. Make certain your child knows netiquette and is not using email messages or chat rooms to vent their own anger in a way that hurts others. This is how cyberbullying begins.

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� If your child is threatened with harm, tell the police. Even if your child doesn�t know how to identify the individual who has made the threat, law enforcement has access to information and may be able to track them down and arrest them before they do harm.

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� Be part of your child�s online experience. It can be a fun journey to explore the wonders of the Internet, and your children should see you safely exploring the internet as well.

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