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In Duct Tape, Trust

Improvised wheel faring extension via duct tap...
Image via Wikipedia

Finally, after months of enduring mountains of paperwork and working in the kitchen because it’s the only area in your house that is not littered with clutter, you decide to reclaim your space by cleaning up. You chuck out all the things you no longer need before turning to your husband’s extensive collection of atomic clocks and nautical table clocks.

You know he will probably want to kill you after you tell him what you did to his beloved clocks. Nonetheless, you put all the clocks inside a box and mark it “For Yard Sale“. Just as you’re about to do the same to his hoard of desk clocks, a few cute ones catch your attention. You pick them up and – surprise! – discover that they’re still functional. You decide to keep four desk clocks so you can put one in each bedroom. You finish the clean-up by taping all of the boxes for the big sale. Just as you’re about to make dinner, however, you spy rolls and rolls of duct tape on a corner. If you are thinking of throwing or selling these away, stop! Duct tape is very utilitarian. Other than being a good adhesive, it has many other uses. Here are some of them.

1. Butt crack cover
If your butt crack is always all over the place because your jeans slide down each time you sit, make sure no one ever sees your butt crack again by taping it with duct tape.

2. Cargo strap
Your trunk is full but you still have three boxes to bring with you. What’s a space-challenged driver to do? Put all three boxes on top of your car and strap them down with duct tape. With any luck, the tape will hold til you get to your destination.

3. Instant auto repair
In these difficult times, no one’s more cash-strapped than you are. If you don’t have the money to get your car fixed, simply duct tape the damage. If your window behaves, the adhesive can keep it firmly stuck in place until the recession is over.

4. Girl catcher
It takes a long time and countless of tries to find a good woman so when your son does, hold on to her – literally. With all those rolls of duct tape, you shouldn’t have any problems pinning her to the wall or the couch.

5. Bra
Some dresses are designed in such a way you’ll have to go bra-less when you wear them. This is well and good if you’re still young and the twins are perky. If you’re not and they’re not, duct tape can be your best friend. With adhesive to give the twins a boost, you can squeeze yourself into any revealing dress anytime!

Oh, and if you’re a harassed parent, you can silence a child or literally glue him or her in one place with – what else? – adhesive.

and of course the Guy catcher!!!

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